I took the summer off from wafling... but I'm back now :)

Did ya miss me?

I had to write my testimony for an application. Let me share it with you and i'll delve into some areas of it a little deeper over the next few weeks...


My sister was saved at a Luis Palou conference in Dublin about 17 years ago. For the next two years or so she drove me mad talking about Jesus and His love for me. She gave me a bible and brought me to see friends of hers from her church. I remember walking in to one house and they turned the TV off so we could chat. I was amazed by that.

Eventually in May 1994 (out of curiosity) I visited my sister’s church Bethel Christian Centre in Tallaght and was amazed that people were delighted to see me and had been praying for me. On my third visit to that church I gave my life to the Lord.

I was baptised by immersion in the Irish Sea in August of that year but was impatient for God to give me what I longed for – a husband and children! I wasted a year trying to make inappropriate relationships appropriate and trying to turn a non Christian boyfriend into a Christian. Then I realised that God was my husband and I re committed myself to him. That year I went to CFI (Christ for Ireland) to do my diploma in Biblical Studies.

During 1996 a couple came to speak in our church about the Holy Spirit but I wasn’t able to get to the meeting. I asked if I could have a copy of the tape. I woke up one morning and decided to stay in bed for a little while and listen to the tape. We had some family staying with us so for some reason I decided to leave them sleeping and climb into my parent’s bed (they had gone to work) to listen to the tape. While listening to the tape I was baptised in the Holy Spirit and started to pray aloud in tongues. It was like I was at the meeting!! And probably a good thing I was in a room on my own or I wouldn’t have felt free enough to speak out when I knew the Spirit had fallen on me.

I was a part of the worship team and helped with the children’s club over the next few years and slowly grew in the love and knowledge of God. Past sins and hurts were being healed and I felt myself changing and growing.

In 1999 life took an unexpected turn. I met and in 2000 married a wonderful man! I had started to believe I would remain single but along came Richard and everything changed. Richard was brought up in a very traditional Welsh evangelical church and he is a committed Christian who loves the Lord. I know he has the Spirit of God in him and we talk a lot about the difference in his experience to mine and it challenges us both to examine out position and ‘keep it real’.

After we married we spent 7 years in Malpas Road Evangelical Church in Newport, South Wales. This is the church Richard was brought up in. I struggled with what I felt was a lack of freedom and at first found it hard to worship. But God really challenged me in those early days there and I knew He was asking me… “Annmarie, can you only worship me when there is lively music and room to dance? Can you not worship me here – with this group of people who love Me too?” I struggled a lot at first and then realised that the Spirit was in this church. It was a still small voice, and as I learned hymns like - Crown Him with Many Crowns, And Can it Be?, A Sovereign Protector I Have - on many occasions and experienced many quiet but intimate moments with God in that wonderful Church.

During those years in South Wales I was very ill. I had endometrial cancer and in July 2002, just before our 2nd wedding anniversary, I had a hysterectomy. Unable to have children, we tried to adopt but were not able to. As I mentioned earlier past sins and hurts had been healed but new hurts had arrived. As a Christian it was so hard to understand how God could have allowed this to happen. More wrestling and then losing my mother early in 2005, caused me to experience times of sadness and (I think) depression. I went through some dark times but all the time I knew God was with me. No matter how low I felt I could always talk to Him. Even when I could not feel Him or hear Him, He gave me faith in my heart to believe He was there and is faithful.

Then I had one of those moments!!! I was crying out to Him…

“Why?! Why Lord? How could you do this to me? I am afraid of Your Power. I believe in You and I worship You but I am afraid of You and Your authority. You have the power to take anything and everything from me. And I have lost so much with no ability to cope with it. How can I truly worship You and trust You - You have the authority to take everything from me”

I was so distressed! Then He spoke to me. It was the first time I had heard directly from Him in some time. I heard Him say, “Yes I have the power and authority to take everything from you – but I have already given you everything - in Jesus!

After that, the whole concept of God’s sovereignty became real to me. It has changed me, my marriage, my walk with God and my attitude to almost everything!

My grief was still very painful and after much prayer and seeking the wise counsel of some friends we decided to return to Ireland. We have been back since the end of April 07

Two things I knew I wanted to do were continue working in family life so I was thrilled to move straight from Care for the Family to Focus on the Family. The other thing was to finish the degree I had started.

I spent the last two years working on finishing my degree and graduated BTh (Hons) in April this year. I have now started an MA in Theology in IBI.

I have no idea what is ahead or how I will use it. Generally, it will help me as I get involved in my new church in Dublin and I am sure, give me better knowledge of scripture and will help me grow. But specifically I do not know how I will use it. I have always loved the idea of being a teacher but at the moment don’t feel a calling towards it. But I have faith that God will use it and it in me. And I look forward to the next chapter.